~ because not all who wander are lost ~

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Ordinary Miracles

I have seen miracles.

I now group miracles into two categories:
- ordinary people with extraordinary love

- random and wonderful things that just couldn't be coincidence- aka
God's tender mercies.
I received both when I needed them the most this past week.
The pop quizzes in Spanish were all about stuff I remembered learning before this class, so it didn't matter that I was behind in homework. One of my family home evening brothers surprised me with lunch when I didn't really feel like eating. The deadline for my chemistry homework that is normally due by classtime was extended a whole day. My dad sent me a text saying he loved me and to have a great day- I didn't know he even knew how to text! I forgot my keys, but the door just happened to be unlocked. The place I was reading in the scriptures spoke right to me, giving me so much strength. My roommates spent long hours just talking and laughing with me, going out for ice cream and hanging out. For just the second time in the semester, my religion teacher didn't ask us to turn in our homework. The sun was shining and the days were beautiful.
But the most amazing thing happened with a Chemistry test. As you can expect, studying is super difficult when you have something much heavier weighing on your mind. I forced myself to study for a few hours and do some practice problems, bringing my mind back to electrochemistry again and again, but my heart wasn't in it.

I was doing my best, but I just couldn't focus.

I was a little apprehensive going into the test, but not worried. (Once you learn what is really worth worrying about, a little midterm is nothing. ;) I sat down and began going through the problems, and I noticed gratefully that I felt unusually focused and capable.I felt great, everything was so clear and simple. Then when I got to the last problem, I stumbled. The day before, I had spent hours trying to figure out a practice problem just like this, but had given up, frustrated. My shoulders dropped and I looked up, at a loss.
Then I noticed my equation sheet. I looked through the familiar list, and my eyes fell on a certain unit conversion that I had never thought of before. I knew it was the one. The problem was suddenly so simple.
I turned my test in confidently, finished in half the time it usually takes me. I walked down the stairs and looked up to see my score, and nearly choked and laughed and danced and cried all at the same time-

Perfect score,

I definitely had some help from the Ultimate Chemist. My mom summed it up pretty adequately:

Faith is the conduit to truth, and truth is all the correct anwers.

When I told one of my friends about it, she replied, "That's exactly what I was praying for."
For me? I didn't know what to say.
Prayer is real. Prayer is powerful. "Thanks."

Saturday, March 20, 2010


It's funny how one thing can completely rearrange your priorities and alter your life's perspective. My boyfriend/best friend has been in the hospital all week with a very serious, sudden illness, barely hanging on. I didn't find out until just Wednesday night, which is probably a good thing: I didn't know you could be literally sick with worry, but it is true. Since then, I have scarcely thought of anything else. Food has been a bother to me, sleep has come slowly, and it has been very difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. Luckily I got to come home for the weekend to be with my family.

We visited him today. He was not conscious, but it was still good to see what is really going on and just be with him. The machines and medications keeping him alive are incredible- I am so glad we have such advanced technology available. I felt so helpless, though- he was so distant, so covered in tubing and sensors and electrodes. I could barely hold his hand through everything.

It felt familiar: warm and solid.

Another thing I am so glad for is the amazing amount of love and support that we have all felt. The entire community has risen together in prayer, fasting, and well-wishes. I made a group on Facebook wishing him well and updating people about his condition; it now has 250 members and rising. I know that he is on the prayer roll of at least four LDS temples and two non-LDS denominations. I laughed until tears came to my eyes when I called the Provo temple prayer roll and the very confused lady told me that his name was already listed. People who don't even know him are praying and fasting. It is really amazing, and humbling.

People keep asking me if I am okay. I really am.
I gave up eating for a while, but with a spark of good news, my appetite is back. I love to laugh. I love to give and receive hugs. I feel deeper. I have not cried, I have not forgotten to look after others, I have not given up hope.

Strong is what you are when you have no other option. What else can I be now?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Few Favorite Pics

Don't have much time today, but I wanted to figure out the "posting pictures" thing. These are just a few of my favorites in iPhoto. Since I got my computer a year ago, I have taken/acquired 7,440 photographs and counting...