Day 19

A picture of a place you'd love to travel



Costa Rica! Beautiful turquoise water, warm sunshine, Spanish, national parks, whitewater rafting, colorful cultures, incredible biodiversity- let's go!

Day 15

A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Halfway through! You know, I think I'll just post a few of these every day for now on. The summer's almost here!

Anyway, for a list of things I want to do before I die, see the bucket list on the right side of the screen. :)

For a picture, see below: I'd love to see the Northern Lights. It just doesn't seem real in photographs or films. I want to know for myself that the spectacular ghostly lights are real- and I can imagine that the experience is nothing you could recreate in any way besides being there.

(Picture courtesy
http://www.guildtravel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/auroraborealis1.jpg)

Day 14

A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.



My best bud Athena! She is one of the happiest, sweetest, most talented and least selfish people I know. We've had a lot of good times through high school and beyond. Laughing until we cry, staying up way too late, doubling up for dates, going out for lunch & hot chocolate, talking about boys, dreaming and planning out our futures, teasing each other, hiking and rafting, goofing around at Girls' Camp, cheering each other on, and of course SINGING together! I miss her sweet voice and the way we blend so well together.

I can't imagine my life without her because she's taught me that it's okay- and actually a whole lot of fun- to be a hopeless romantic, among other things. ;) And she is just such a good friend, good at listening, gentle and loving always- and so giving! I just received a card in the mail from her a while back, and it totally made my day. Athena, I love you!

Seasons and Sickness

We've all heard that there is a season for everything. I'm learning a new depth to that saying today.

I woke up this morning shivering with a headache. The weather outside was not much better: right now it's 11 degrees with a windchill well below zero. I didn't feel all that crummy, but a thermometer reading of 101.1 and a resting heart rate nearly double my average made me think twice and pick up a bowl of chicken soup instead of my running shoes.

Once I was nearly recovered from a bad cold, but I decided to go on a hike with some friends of mine who keep up a wicked pace. It was a fun hike, but I came home exhausted and relapsed even worse. I didn't want to repeat that lesson today, especially with an overnight trip to a yurt in the mountains planned for this Friday. So, I decided to listen to my body, be patient, and just take it easy.
It was hard because I wasn't feeling crummy enough to lie around doing nothing, but I wasn't feeling good enough to really do anything truly productive. I read a book, babysat, played with a cat, played the piano, ordered a sleeping bag, and dreamed of days when the weather and I will both be feeling better.

The sun was the most deceptive part of today. It looked cheerful enough, but a step outside ushered in a breathless reality. The light that appeared friendly and warm from inside seemed harsh and hollow as it cast itself down upon a scene of stark, brittle trees stripped by the bitter wind. I stepped back inside quickly and put on another layer of fleecy warmth.
I haven't yet forgotten the memory of rich golden summer sunlight. It helps in times like this.

But as I've said before, winter has its own beauty. You could look at it two ways: a time to retreat indoors from the restrictive misery and dream of warmer adventures, or a time to retreat indoors for preparation and rest. In the days of homesteads, winter blizzards could leave a family snowbound for weeks. They spent the days mending things, making things, reading and telling stories together. Just because the winter was a harsh and unproductive time on the farm didn't mean it wasn't necessary or even good in its own right.
Six days we labor, and we rest on the seventh. Rest is good for the body and rejuvenating for the soul, especially when you're sick or stressed or otherwise in need. We can't just go-go-go; we are humans, not machines.

This time in my life feels kind of like a restful time. I am basically worry-free: living with my parents again, doing household tasks and spending time with my family and friends here until my internship starts. Sometimes I feel unproductive and even lazy. For so long I've been looking toward the next big deadline and constantly working to earn scholarships, recognition, money, credits, good grades, etc, going from one thing to the next. It's nice now to not have any homework to do, any exams to stress me out or classes to attend. I think I will miss it eventually. Too much of anything, even rest, is a bad thing.

For now I'm trying out a different kind of productivity. Today was all about helping my body fight what's ailing it and keeping the little girls entertained so my mom can spend quality time at the office. As for me, I'm taking time to breathe, time to play with a baby, time to find out what I really want from life and to enjoy what's here,

now,
in this season.

Even if it seems cold and miserable and boring, this rest will be gone before I know it, replaced by something new, the time quickening again and rushing onward.

Tomorrow I will feel better. Tonight, I'm going to bed early. Holly and I are having a camp out in the Great Room.

Bucket List

So here it is, my first-ever Bucket List. It's pretty long, I know- I want to have a lot of adventures, what can I say?

At first I was just thinking of far-out things I want to do in the future, then I remembered all the cool things I'd wanted to do- and did- in the past. It's sure been a trip down memory lane! I chose not to include most of the "given" things, like "graduate from high school" or "get my drivers' license." I chose instead to list more unusual, out-of-my-way/comfort zone things.

The interesting thing about a bucket list is that it takes into account mainly one-time events. There are lots of small, everyday things I want to accomplish too, like writing in my journal consistently, eating healthfully, or making a difference in someone's life, but those things are hard to quantify. They are definitely part of these bigger goals, though. New Years' Resolution? No, this is my Bucket List!

Dreams

Turns out that when I immerse myself in poetry just before bedtime, I wake up to very vivid and memorable dreams. Perhaps accessing my subconscious while conscious means that it is wide awake and ready to mull over what I'm really feeling as I sleep.

I don't believe all the "dream symbols" and other horoscope-ish stuff. However, I can definitely detect patterns and recognize symbols in my own dreams- and even interpret them- because I know what they mean to me. They could be totally different from someone else, because the sum total of my life is very different from everyone else's.

Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I had a true nightmare.

I think dreams provide insight into what you feel deep down- what you are afraid of, what you know, what you won't admit to yourself- that your conscious, rational self refuses to acknowledge while you are awake. When that logical part is sleeping, the raw feelings and memories, thoughts, etc. can untangle themselves. Dreams are those fleeting glimpses into how you really feel about things.

Interesting... I think I will have to sleep on this thought ;)