Day 20

A picture of something you wish you could forget.




Actually, I don't mind remembering how much it hurt to get this bruise. Because of it, I felt "hard core," earned bragging rights, and learned to let go of the rope sooner. It's one of those painful things that I wouldn't want to go through again, but all the same I'm glad I did.

Really, I just don't like forgetting things- even the times that are most painful or embarrassing. If I forget, I'll forget the lesson. Besides, these are parts of my life- if I were to blot them out of my memory, it would be less complete, less varied and expansive.

I used to think it wasn't fair that we remember our sins after we've been washed clean through repentance while Christ remembers them no more (Jeremiah 31:34). Why couldn't we all just forget and have them disappear completely?
That would miss the point. Repentance is a path toward changing, growing, overcoming. By remembering we keep ourselves from falling back into old habits and we can be gentler with others going through similar tough times.

Found this on someone else's blog, and it touched me. An interesting perspective.
(http://lamont-uphill.blogspot.com/2011/02/day-21-something-i-wish-i-could-forget.html):

"Forget.
Not because it was bad.
Not because I wish it never was.
Not because it wasn't a precious time with good people.

But because it's something I find myself missing so much.
If I could forget the loss, remembering would not be so difficult."

Day 11

A picture of something you hate



Don't roll your eyes just yet: although it's frustrating to rake out endless social trails, it's not people stepping in crypto that I hate. ;)

I really don't hate a lot of things- hate is such a strong word. But I do strongly dislike people disregarding beauty or innocence or natural things. I also don't like when people do damaging things out of ignorance. I can't get mad at the people at those times, though. Even those with good intentions and good hearts can hurt things just because they don't know how fragile it all really is and what is really going on in the background.

In this day and age I feel like we are distanced from so many things, sheltered from reality by quick trips to a well-stocked market and a fix-it pill. We just don't see the consequences of a lot of our choices and actions. It's hard to know what is truth and what is advertising. This leads us to support practices that might actually cause harm in the long run, harm to our personal health and the health of our societies, our global community and our environments. No, we don't mean to. But this ignorance isn't bliss, it's just blindness. I guess you could say that I hate the quick-fix mindset, the short-sightedness that comes along when you add greed, money, waste and power to narrow minds.
And I hate the helplessness of those who are on the other end of the deal, who know exactly what is going on but feel nearly powerless to fight it. Getting stuck in a rut is worse than stepping in crypto any day :P

Day 9

A picture of the person who's gotten you through the most.



This one is a no-brainer. Where would I be without my Savior?
This post is timely, especially appropriate to think about during Easter when we celebrate His Resurrection. Not only did Christ suffer for all of our sins, feel all of our pains, endure all of our grief, he also gave His life and took it up again so that we might live with Him forever. I have definitely felt His guiding and reassuring influence in my life. Following His commandments has saved me from a lot of grief, and turning to Him in tough times has carried me through. Yup, it's all about love, and I am grateful :)
I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me... It is wonderful to me <3

30 Day Photo Challenge

Alrighty, it has recently been suggested that I put up another post. I agree, I am a slacker sometimes. :P

And in order to help me get used to posting more, I'm giving in to the fad & doing the whole "30 Day Photo Challenge" thing. It may take a bit more than 30 days... but I'll get to the end eventually. Here goes!


Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and a friend you have been closest to the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of a favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most adventurous things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture of something you never leave home without
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

1. First, the basics: I'm the oldest of seven children and I have an awesome family and the best hometown ever, Moab. I’m studying Conservation Biology and Spanish at BYU, where I try to fit in as many fitness, music, and English classes as I can. No, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life. I’m currently doing an internship with the National Park Service to check out that option, but there are just so many choices…

2. I once broke my arm falling off of a ball I was trying to stand on. Later, I broke my arm falling off of a trampoline. Apparently gymnastics is not my thing. ;)

3. The first song I sang in public (not church) was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” when I was seven. I think the first solo song I sang in front of a crowd in Church was “The Nativity Song” when I was four… or maybe it was “I Am a Child of God.”

4. I shop for clothing almost exclusively at thrift stores, but when it comes to some things I like to have quality stuff that will last a while (so my new down sleeping bag probably cost more than my entire wardrobe ;).

5. I have never pierced my ears or dyed my hair, but I have had braces.

6. People tailgating me in the car is one of my biggest pet peeves. (I don’t want them to run me over in my little car!) Now that I’ve said that, I know I’ve probably set myself up for some teasing, car-style… lol

7. I really love cold cereal. Not with milk- I don’t really like milk- but dry. However, I’ve been known to eat an entire box in one day, so maybe I shouldn’t buy cereal anymore…It’s just too good! It goes right along with cookie dough, chips & salsa, and a few other foods that I just can't walk away from...

8. Both my eardrums have ruptured at least once.

9. I would hesitate to call myself a full-blown writer, climber, vegetarian, photographer, reader, gardener, runner, musician, rafter or cook because I don’t define myself by one label or the other. Rather, they are things that I’ve tried on (or been born into) and liked how they fit. They’re pieces that add color and depth to my identity as a daughter of God- that’s who I really am. :D

10. I would love to be more of a morning person instead of a night owl because early morning is my favorite time of day, especially when I’m the only one awake and it’s all mine.

11. Even when I was a cheerleader, I didn’t have a lot of interest in watching sports. Or makeup. Or pink.

12. I cannot snap my fingers. Four-year-old children who can do it like to tease me. lol

13. I enjoy taking pictures and going through the 13,000+ photos on my computer that remind me of good times and good friends.

14. I keep lots of frozen vegetables (red bell peppers, green spinach/peas/broccoli, yellow corn, orange carrots) in my freezer so I can add color, texture and flavor to boring dishes. You’d be amazed how many things you can sneak spinach into and have it be delicious.

15. I love taking laundry out of the dryer because it’s warm, soft, clean and smells wonderful. I also like the smell of clothes saturated with day-old juniper smoke because it reminds me of camping and being outside.

Seasons and Sickness

We've all heard that there is a season for everything. I'm learning a new depth to that saying today.

I woke up this morning shivering with a headache. The weather outside was not much better: right now it's 11 degrees with a windchill well below zero. I didn't feel all that crummy, but a thermometer reading of 101.1 and a resting heart rate nearly double my average made me think twice and pick up a bowl of chicken soup instead of my running shoes.

Once I was nearly recovered from a bad cold, but I decided to go on a hike with some friends of mine who keep up a wicked pace. It was a fun hike, but I came home exhausted and relapsed even worse. I didn't want to repeat that lesson today, especially with an overnight trip to a yurt in the mountains planned for this Friday. So, I decided to listen to my body, be patient, and just take it easy.
It was hard because I wasn't feeling crummy enough to lie around doing nothing, but I wasn't feeling good enough to really do anything truly productive. I read a book, babysat, played with a cat, played the piano, ordered a sleeping bag, and dreamed of days when the weather and I will both be feeling better.

The sun was the most deceptive part of today. It looked cheerful enough, but a step outside ushered in a breathless reality. The light that appeared friendly and warm from inside seemed harsh and hollow as it cast itself down upon a scene of stark, brittle trees stripped by the bitter wind. I stepped back inside quickly and put on another layer of fleecy warmth.
I haven't yet forgotten the memory of rich golden summer sunlight. It helps in times like this.

But as I've said before, winter has its own beauty. You could look at it two ways: a time to retreat indoors from the restrictive misery and dream of warmer adventures, or a time to retreat indoors for preparation and rest. In the days of homesteads, winter blizzards could leave a family snowbound for weeks. They spent the days mending things, making things, reading and telling stories together. Just because the winter was a harsh and unproductive time on the farm didn't mean it wasn't necessary or even good in its own right.
Six days we labor, and we rest on the seventh. Rest is good for the body and rejuvenating for the soul, especially when you're sick or stressed or otherwise in need. We can't just go-go-go; we are humans, not machines.

This time in my life feels kind of like a restful time. I am basically worry-free: living with my parents again, doing household tasks and spending time with my family and friends here until my internship starts. Sometimes I feel unproductive and even lazy. For so long I've been looking toward the next big deadline and constantly working to earn scholarships, recognition, money, credits, good grades, etc, going from one thing to the next. It's nice now to not have any homework to do, any exams to stress me out or classes to attend. I think I will miss it eventually. Too much of anything, even rest, is a bad thing.

For now I'm trying out a different kind of productivity. Today was all about helping my body fight what's ailing it and keeping the little girls entertained so my mom can spend quality time at the office. As for me, I'm taking time to breathe, time to play with a baby, time to find out what I really want from life and to enjoy what's here,

now,
in this season.

Even if it seems cold and miserable and boring, this rest will be gone before I know it, replaced by something new, the time quickening again and rushing onward.

Tomorrow I will feel better. Tonight, I'm going to bed early. Holly and I are having a camp out in the Great Room.

New Year, New Post

So here's one New Year's Resolution I should probably make: update my blog every once in a while! Yup, this is my first post in... well, too long. Lots has happened since then!

I won't fill you in; I'm starting fresh with 2011.

But first, a few pics from Christmas Break! (These are the later ones that didn't make it onto Facebook. I have dozens more if you're interested!)

Hanging out in the New House (SOOO many movies- what else can you do when it's cold & dark starting at 5:00 pm?)





Hiking/Scrambling Ice Box Canyon with Chris & Joseph. River Road to the Slickrock Bike Trail in just over an hour of near-vertical ascent. At points, we had to use ropes, NRS strap-belt harnesses, or climb on railroad spikes someone pounded into the rock. Awesome!




Christmas Eve Nazarene Feast ("hippie food" courtesy of yours truly ;)






Slush & Shanghai: a Hazlett Holiday Tradition








A fun visit by the 5 crazy Coleman cousins :)







Snow on the red rock (view from the Sand Hill where we went sledding & even got the Andrews' van stuck!)





Two cutest baby sisters. Check out Holly's dance moves! ;)







New Year's Eve party w/the Singles' Branch








I have rather goofy (but attractive!) best friends ;)









And a very cute baby sister who loves to play outside in the snow with me!

So basically, LIFE IS GOOD! And I love being home.

BYU Winter semester classes started today, but I am kind of not missing it at all. I needed a break from school and the Provo bubble, to be honest. Now I am excited to spend time with my family & friends at home for a few weeks before heading out into the wilderness to explore a potential career option and get some real-world experience.

Besides, see what I would have had to leave behind?

Shoulds

I've been wondering a lot lately about the shoulds of life. As a college student, there are so many decisions to make, so many directions my life could take- and so many voices telling me what I should do.

According to my major, I should zero in on all the classes that will make me qualified and help me graduate in 3.2 years in order to become a productive contributing member of society. According to my minor, I should somehow squeeze 18 credits worth of classes into an already full schedule. According to typical BYU stereotypes, I should meet a nice RM this semester and we should get married by this time next semester. According to leading doctors, I should drink 8 oz of water, sleep at least 8 hours, exercise 1/2 hour daily and eat a balanced diet. I should also keep the apartment spotless, spend time serving others, cook all my own food, buy organically, keep a year's supply of food handy, read scriptures daily, stay current on my first aid certification, schedule 3 hours/credit hour/week for each class, recycle, do every assignment and everything else anyone asks me to do, keep the commandments, keep in touch with my family, take time to do the things I love, and somehow find out who I am in the midst of all this. (actually, it's not "finding out" so much as "creating"- not a single moment of discovery, but an ongoing process. Nice tangent. Now, back to wondering about shoulds)

The thing is that I've done the calculations; I've tried to do it all- and there just isn't enough time in a day. I have to pick and choose to do some things, and leave the others for now. That's why I haven't done laundry or cleaned off my desk in ages (although I should soon because I'm just about out of clean socks). Of course, there are some basic shoulds in my life that keep me safe, happy, and on the right track- keeping the commandments, keeping in touch with my family, taking care of myself, preparing for the future, and taking time to do the things I love- but beyond those, how do I decide what I should do?

When I have to choose between two good things, how do I know which to pick? It gets a little blurry because most of my shoulds are good choices; the decision just depends on what's important to me and from whose perspective they are coming from. For example, my Life Sciences Academic Advisor will freak out when I tell her I dropped Chem 107 to take a guitar class, but my employers will be happy because guitar is a marketable and fulfilling skill when it comes to Cisco entertainment. Sleep is important as a general rule, but staying up an extra 15 minutes or so to relax and read the scriptures is definitely worth it.

What it comes down to is this: I don't always have to always do what I "should"(I couldn't even if I wanted to!). I just need to figure out what is important to me, what shoulds will help me grow and be happy and achieve my goals in the long run, and then just do it.

Life is not "one-size-fits-all." It's custom-designed by each and every one of us. And in the long run, it's just good to know that as long as I choose from "good should"s, everything else will work out because God is ultimately the tailor of this custom-fit life of mine. :D