~ because not all who wander are lost ~

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Day 20

A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Actually, I don't mind remembering how much it hurt to get this bruise. Because of it, I felt "hard core," earned bragging rights, and learned to let go of the rope sooner. It's one of those painful things that I wouldn't want to go through again, but all the same I'm glad I did.

Really, I just don't like forgetting things- even the times that are most painful or embarrassing. If I forget, I'll forget the lesson. Besides, these are parts of my life- if I were to blot them out of my memory, it would be less complete, less varied and expansive.

I used to think it wasn't fair that we remember our sins after we've been washed clean through repentance while Christ remembers them no more (Jeremiah 31:34). Why couldn't we all just forget and have them disappear completely?
That would miss the point. Repentance is a path toward changing, growing, overcoming. By remembering we keep ourselves from falling back into old habits and we can be gentler with others going through similar tough times.

Found this on someone else's blog, and it touched me. An interesting perspective.

Not because it was bad.
Not because I wish it never was.
Not because it wasn't a precious time with good people.

But because it's something I find myself missing so much.
If I could forget the loss, remembering would not be so difficult."

Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 19

A picture of a place you'd love to travel

Costa Rica! Beautiful turquoise water, warm sunshine, Spanish, national parks, whitewater rafting, colorful cultures, incredible biodiversity- let's go!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Day 18

A picture of something you'd never leave home without

Okay, so I kinda cheated on this one. My "one thing I wouldn't leave home without" happens to be so valuable because of all the little things it contains. See the small white rectangle in the corner? That's a little bag I call my "micro-mini," and everything else in the picture goes inside it. I can't leave home without it because it helps me be prepared for whatever might come up- be it splinters, a burst seam or an unexpected sleepover due to a snowstorm. Even packed to the bursting it's a great size to toss into a purse, ammo can or backpack. At the last count, here is what it contains:

loop of string
fruit leather
big bandaid
nail file
travel toothbrush
fun-size toothpaste
ballpoint pen
cough drop
mini first-aid kit (random small pills & ointments & band-aids)
travel sewing kit
safety pins
rubber band
dental floss
fingernail clippers
toiletry products
spare car key
spare camera batteries
pocket knife
bobby pins
hair ties
pocket mirror

And the funny thing is that I've used them all before: tried & tested essentials to being prepared for anything. :)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Day 17

A picture of something that's recently had a big impact on your life

My car! I'd never had a car of my own until this February. I have since discovered that a car means freedom and independence like I've never had before, but also comes along with new things to learn like how to check oil, how expensive gasoline is, how pointless a left turn during Jeep Safari is, etc. It's quite the adventure- and quite the ticket to plenty more! I plan on getting good use out of my National Park Pass in the next year :)

I guess I haven't really taken many pictures of my car yet... but I thought this one was cool. How many lucky numbers can you get in a row? 13-42-42! Affectionately nicknamed "Cori" by Holly, this little Toyota corolla and I have seen thousands of miles go by together already. She's kind of gutless when racing semitrucks to the top of a hill, but gets good gas mileage and handles well. And she's purty!

Funny story: Stephen, one of my coworkers, sold his car in February. His small white gold-bottomed Toyota corolla. It turned out to be the same car! Talking to Stephen, I soon solved the mysteries of the blank left bumper, crack in the windshield, and replaced engine. He's known around here as "Megamiles Steve" because he occasionally takes off to Las Vegas, Tuscon, or Montana for the weekend. Apparently Cori was quite the world traveler in her youth!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Day 16

A picture of someone who inspires you.

My mom! This is an especially appropriate post considering the upcoming holiday: Mothers Day!
I don't know how she does it. Seven kids, her own business, a big huge house, a whole branch of young adults, a book club, preschool classes, and so much more... and still looks fantastic in her skinny jeans! ;)

She inspires me mostly by her example, but also through good advice and challenges. She's fun to talk to and knows a whole lot about everything. We may not agree on everything, and I know neither of us is perfect, but we learn from one another. I guess I realized how much she means to me when I left home two years ago and she wasn't always there when I needed her recipes or advice. I had no idea how much work it takes to run a household until I was on my own! Like I said, she's amazing, and I want to be a mom like her someday :D

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Day 15

A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Halfway through! You know, I think I'll just post a few of these every day for now on. The summer's almost here!

Anyway, for a list of things I want to do before I die, see the bucket list on the right side of the screen. :)

For a picture, see below: I'd love to see the Northern Lights. It just doesn't seem real in photographs or films. I want to know for myself that the spectacular ghostly lights are real- and I can imagine that the experience is nothing you could recreate in any way besides being there.

(Picture courtesy

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Wrong Turn

Lately I've been thinking about "wrong" turns. Monday's 3.8-mile backpacking trek into camp turned into 9.7 miles because of not one but two wrong turns that led to a nearly 6-mile detour.

We didn't miss any deadlines, didn't really have any place to be soon, so it was okay to wander around for hours. We ended up seeing some really cool pictographs, ladders, slickrock bowls, towers, blooming cacti, winding streams, mountain views, and so many other things. We covered trails we never would have otherwise seen.

We pushed our limits and enjoyed the journey: after a while, another few miles didn't even seem like that big a deal (maybe we just reached that point where you can't get any more exhausted. lol) We got into camp with plenty of time to relax and explore before we even needed to cook dinner. And all those long miles toting heavy packs added up to a good night's sleep (for most- I seem to have developed this odd inability to sleep outside. I'll have to get over that soon...)

So if the detour led to such an amazing journey, why were we bummed to realize we had taken a wrong turn? Why did we kick ourselves and mourn the added miles?
After all, they were only wrong because they weren't originally where we'd planned to go.

How often in life do we feel a little panicky when something comes up and changes our plans? What of our mistakes that lead to detours? A little time, a little patience, and you'll get there in the end. That's one thing I've learned: things work out. Life goes on. The only real failure is failure to keep moving. Likely you'll learn things along the way that you'd never have considered had you stayed on the original course. You may even be stronger for it. And you'll surely be wiser when you finally reach your destination.

(After 15 miles, two blisters and a very raw patch of skin, Joe decided that flying would be less trouble than walking. ;)

Day 14

A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

My best bud Athena! She is one of the happiest, sweetest, most talented and least selfish people I know. We've had a lot of good times through high school and beyond. Laughing until we cry, staying up way too late, doubling up for dates, going out for lunch & hot chocolate, talking about boys, dreaming and planning out our futures, teasing each other, hiking and rafting, goofing around at Girls' Camp, cheering each other on, and of course SINGING together! I miss her sweet voice and the way we blend so well together.

I can't imagine my life without her because she's taught me that it's okay- and actually a whole lot of fun- to be a hopeless romantic, among other things. ;) And she is just such a good friend, good at listening, gentle and loving always- and so giving! I just received a card in the mail from her a while back, and it totally made my day. Athena, I love you!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Day 13

A picture of your favorite band or artist.

I don't know if I really have a favorite band or artist. Like food, I like many kinds of different "flavors," depending on my mood & situation. Lately I've been doing a lot of nice easy jogs and housecleaning, which call for fun, upbeat tunes with meaningful lyrics. The top songs on my playlist at the moment include "The Ballad of Love and Hate" and "January Wedding" by The Avett Brothers. Their music is described in their biography as "a rootsy amalgam of folk, country, bluegrass, rock and pop – even a jab of punk-style dynamics here and there."

Whatever that means. I just know that I enjoy the real-ness of their voices (so many performers sound like they're just putting on a show, forcing it, not singing from inside out- but their imperfect voices bring out their humanity and add such depth to their music) and the thoughtful well-written lyrics. I enjoy getting caught up in a story and singing along :D

(And you've got to admit- at least if you're a girl- that they're rather attractive in this picture ;)

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 12

A picture of something you love.

Yup, I love food. Cooking food, trying new foods, experimenting with recipes, arranging colorful & tasty meals, being creative with leftovers, sharing food with other people, and most of all eating food! Especially fresh fruits & veggies and hearty grains like brown rice or quinoa. The above picture is a tasty lunch from a few weeks ago: braised kale with sesame seeds, steamed short-grain brown rice, red grapes, and tacos filled with buttercrisp lettuce, refried beans, corn, salsa, spinach, and garden burger crumbles. Mmmmm!

New favorite tastes: Thai peanut sauce, pesto, curry, falafel. Growing up I was a bit turned off by such strong and unfamiliar flavors, but I have since grown to really love them. It helps that I recently gave up most meat, cheese, egg and dairy products and began exploring all kinds of other food options. I've even started enjoying mushrooms!

If I had to live off of just one "ethnicity" of food, it would be Mexican food. I grew up eating tamales, Spanish rice, corn and beans, tortilla soup, and chips & salsa thanks to my mom's Arizona childhood, and I love them!

Grossest thing I've ever eaten: fish sauce (I lost a dare. Shudder. Closest I've come to throwing up besides jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet. )

Tastiest thing I've ever eaten: oh man, that's a hard one. I've had some really really good curries and pilafs and even casseroles in my day. Veggie fajitas are among my favorite foods. I've always been a sucker for soups & salads, and pasta makes a hearty base for all kinds of tasty dishes. It doesn't get much better than garden-fresh fruits and vegetables. And let's not even get started on desserts... ;)

But for all the adventuring and trying new things and enjoying bold tastes, I have to admit that tonight I just had PB&J on a pita and an apple for dinner. Sometimes I go hiking instead of cooking an actual meal:P

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Day 11

A picture of something you hate

Don't roll your eyes just yet: although it's frustrating to rake out endless social trails, it's not people stepping in crypto that I hate. ;)

I really don't hate a lot of things- hate is such a strong word. But I do strongly dislike people disregarding beauty or innocence or natural things. I also don't like when people do damaging things out of ignorance. I can't get mad at the people at those times, though. Even those with good intentions and good hearts can hurt things just because they don't know how fragile it all really is and what is really going on in the background.

In this day and age I feel like we are distanced from so many things, sheltered from reality by quick trips to a well-stocked market and a fix-it pill. We just don't see the consequences of a lot of our choices and actions. It's hard to know what is truth and what is advertising. This leads us to support practices that might actually cause harm in the long run, harm to our personal health and the health of our societies, our global community and our environments. No, we don't mean to. But this ignorance isn't bliss, it's just blindness. I guess you could say that I hate the quick-fix mindset, the short-sightedness that comes along when you add greed, money, waste and power to narrow minds.
And I hate the helplessness of those who are on the other end of the deal, who know exactly what is going on but feel nearly powerless to fight it. Getting stuck in a rut is worse than stepping in crypto any day :P

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Day 10

A picture of the person you do the most adventurous things with.

This one was a no-brainer. Who do I do the most crazy, spontaneous, HILARIOUS, cute and/or memorable things with? Chris Andrew!
Here are just a few of the many adventures we've have had together (not particularly in order):

Prom, talent show skit, river trips, gutter rafting, lots of hiking, first kiss (for us both :), backpacking, slot canyons, rainy camping, skydiving, fancy dinner in a trailer, sledding, butterflies, crazy family events, Halloween, making lemon bars at 2 in the morning, pranks & practical jokes, that first hug when he got out of the hospital after two weeks of uncertainty, rafting down the gutters, Christmas Eve canyoneering, cheesy stuff, half marathon, chalk-tagging, ice cream and wisdom teeth, snowshoeing, weekend visits while I was up at BYU, midnight snacks at Denny's or the Diner, chocolates & frogs, late night conversations, climbing through windows, mountain biking, knee boarding, babysitting, slacklining, Sunday breakfasts, road trips, climbing, inside jokes, long phone calls, tar-line-tag, moonlit walks, and a summer fling that turned into the best two years of my life (that's right- two years next month!).
Yup. I've got a pretty awesome boyfriend.

And as cheesy as it may sound, I've discovered that love really is quite the adventure even by itself :)

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Day 9

A picture of the person who's gotten you through the most.

This one is a no-brainer. Where would I be without my Savior?
This post is timely, especially appropriate to think about during Easter when we celebrate His Resurrection. Not only did Christ suffer for all of our sins, feel all of our pains, endure all of our grief, he also gave His life and took it up again so that we might live with Him forever. I have definitely felt His guiding and reassuring influence in my life. Following His commandments has saved me from a lot of grief, and turning to Him in tough times has carried me through. Yup, it's all about love, and I am grateful :)
I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me... It is wonderful to me <3

Friday, April 22, 2011

Day 8

A picture that makes you laugh.

Violet loves cameras, and she always makes the funniest squinty-eyed crazy face. This one gets me every time! I nearly made a scene in the museum where this was taken because I just couldn't stop laughing. What a cute little goof :)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Day 7

A picture of your most treasured possession.

This one was really hard. I kept thinking, “What would I save if my house burned down?” That just stacked up the obvious valuables: computer, phone, camera, etc.
As far as treasured goes, I then thought, “What do I always have with me? What would be irreplaceable? What would I never want to lose?” I looked on the bed beside me and noticed three things that have been there for years, things I use nearly every night. Simple things: the turquoise quadruple combination scriptures I got when I was baptized, a wrinkled & torn copy of my Patriarchal blessing (I accidentally dropped it in the river once!), and my journal. They help me sort through my thoughts and stay on track, keeping me close to Heavenly Father and aimed toward my eternal goals. That’s why I treasure them.

(I can't find my camera at the moment, otherwise I really would have a picture here. Does this still count as the "picture of the day"? Well... just use your imagination & it does :)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 6

A picture of someone you'd like to trade places with for a day

I can't think of anyone famous or nearby that I would honestly like to be for a day. However, I would really like to get to know a totally different culture from the inside. Through visiting, studying, reading books, and talking with people you get to scratch the surface and learn from the slant of your own cultural background, but through truly being another person, you would automatically understand the language and customs and how things came to be accepted as they are. I would like to see the world through completely different eyes so I can have a broader perspective and a more understanding heart. That would be the ultimate total immersion experience. :)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Day 5

A picture of your favorite memory.

Wowzers, this one is nearly impossible: how am I supposed to narrow it down to just one memory? I decided to just find two pictures that give a general feeling of my favorite times, way back in the day and more recently.

Basically, most of my favorite memories involve being outside and having adventures with friends and family who mean a lot to me. I remember car camping in the LaSals way back when there were just three of us Hazletts and exploring arroyos before curling up on Grandma's lap to look at the stars. Then the Era of the Pop-up Camper, then the motorhome and cross-country travel. Girls' camp, snipe hunting, discovering hidden and unnamed canyons around Moab. Climbing mountains, each one "the hardest thing I've ever done!" (at least it felt so at the time ;). Lots of hikes and trips to the swimming hole, camping beside the river. Exploring new places like the Nauvoo groves, catching fireflies in Eastern woods at night. Even in New York, standing on a rooftop watching the snow fall in an orange glow. Sledding and climbing and escaping the summer heat in the LaSal Mountains. Lots of river trips with friends, inside jokes and grit and wind and riding the waves. Long days and tired legs and spectacular sunsets. INHUT - the spring term I spent backpacking & driving & canoeing all over Utah getting to know the people, places and history of this vast state. School trips to National Parks, and now living in one of the most remote and beautiful places in the world.

One of these pictures is my little cousin snuggled up in her sleeping bag at Hittle Bottom. The other is Sheena, Chris, Cody & me about to begin an overnight ducky adventure from the Portal to Gold Bar.

I think there's a special closeness you develop with people and with God when you're outside. Conversations are more open and relaxed, stress and distractions are lower, and you feel really alive. You get back down to the simple things and realize that relationships and wholesome dose of fresh air really are the stuff of life :D

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Day 4

A picture of your night

Tonight we had the final races of the Needles 500. We've been practicing and qualifying all week. I was surprised at how fun & addictive it was. Tonight I didn't do so well in my first few races, but then I got to fill in for Dorita since she was still working. Suddenly, my times were so much better! I think it's because I didn't have the competitive urge to win as much since I'd already given up on my car. I was a lot more cautious with Dorita's, which turned out to be the key to racing well because crashes take up a lot of time. Slow & steady really does win the race! (but it helps to be fast, too!)

We decided to become team "Ivorita" when Dorita finally showed up halfway through the last qualifier. I made it to the final race, 200 laps (about 40 minutes), and when Stephen finished his 200th lap, the rest of us finished 173 (Team Ivorita), 172 (Steve) and 171 (Cindy- I think, but maybe it's the other way around... i dunno.). Soooo close! I was pretty surprised- Second place! Usually I'm hopeless if it has to do with cars or sports or competition. I won a shiny new car in a blue egg, which you can see in the picture. Beginners' luck, I guess. :)

And who says it's boring to live out in the middle of nowhere, an hour from the nearest grocery store, with fewer than two dozen people who average twice your age? Naw, these guys still play with toy cars. They're all right in my book ;)

Friday, April 15, 2011

Day 3

Day 3: A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Now this is a hard one, since I don't really watch T.V. all that often and I can hardly name any celebrities, let alone which parts they've played. I do see a lot of good animated shows, though. Maybe I'll just list a few of my recent favorites:

How To Train Your Dragon
The Incredibles
Slumdog Millionaire
Prince Caspian
Baptists At Our Barbecue

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day 2

A picture of you and a friend you have been close to the longest.

I remember when Kandace moved into the yellow house near my neighborhood, before we even started preschool. Playdates, ice cream after school, "City Girl & Country Girl" games, sleepovers, cheerleading, Track & Field, new songs & long conversations in the car after practice, Young Women events, family activities, lunch dates, late night Facebook chats, so many good times! And even though we attend college hours & hours apart, we still keep in touch. Thanks for everything, Kandace! :D

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

30 Day Photo Challenge

Alrighty, it has recently been suggested that I put up another post. I agree, I am a slacker sometimes. :P

And in order to help me get used to posting more, I'm giving in to the fad & doing the whole "30 Day Photo Challenge" thing. It may take a bit more than 30 days... but I'll get to the end eventually. Here goes!

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and a friend you have been closest to the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of a favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most adventurous things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture of something you never leave home without
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

1. First, the basics: I'm the oldest of seven children and I have an awesome family and the best hometown ever, Moab. I’m studying Conservation Biology and Spanish at BYU, where I try to fit in as many fitness, music, and English classes as I can. No, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life. I’m currently doing an internship with the National Park Service to check out that option, but there are just so many choices…

2. I once broke my arm falling off of a ball I was trying to stand on. Later, I broke my arm falling off of a trampoline. Apparently gymnastics is not my thing. ;)

3. The first song I sang in public (not church) was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” when I was seven. I think the first solo song I sang in front of a crowd in Church was “The Nativity Song” when I was four… or maybe it was “I Am a Child of God.”

4. I shop for clothing almost exclusively at thrift stores, but when it comes to some things I like to have quality stuff that will last a while (so my new down sleeping bag probably cost more than my entire wardrobe ;).

5. I have never pierced my ears or dyed my hair, but I have had braces.

6. People tailgating me in the car is one of my biggest pet peeves. (I don’t want them to run me over in my little car!) Now that I’ve said that, I know I’ve probably set myself up for some teasing, car-style… lol

7. I really love cold cereal. Not with milk- I don’t really like milk- but dry. However, I’ve been known to eat an entire box in one day, so maybe I shouldn’t buy cereal anymore…It’s just too good! It goes right along with cookie dough, chips & salsa, and a few other foods that I just can't walk away from...

8. Both my eardrums have ruptured at least once.

9. I would hesitate to call myself a full-blown writer, climber, vegetarian, photographer, reader, gardener, runner, musician, rafter or cook because I don’t define myself by one label or the other. Rather, they are things that I’ve tried on (or been born into) and liked how they fit. They’re pieces that add color and depth to my identity as a daughter of God- that’s who I really am. :D

10. I would love to be more of a morning person instead of a night owl because early morning is my favorite time of day, especially when I’m the only one awake and it’s all mine.

11. Even when I was a cheerleader, I didn’t have a lot of interest in watching sports. Or makeup. Or pink.

12. I cannot snap my fingers. Four-year-old children who can do it like to tease me. lol

13. I enjoy taking pictures and going through the 13,000+ photos on my computer that remind me of good times and good friends.

14. I keep lots of frozen vegetables (red bell peppers, green spinach/peas/broccoli, yellow corn, orange carrots) in my freezer so I can add color, texture and flavor to boring dishes. You’d be amazed how many things you can sneak spinach into and have it be delicious.

15. I love taking laundry out of the dryer because it’s warm, soft, clean and smells wonderful. I also like the smell of clothes saturated with day-old juniper smoke because it reminds me of camping and being outside.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Needles Internship

It's been almost a month now, so I think it's just about time to finally post something about my current life. I took a semester off from school to complete an internship as an Interpretive Park Ranger in the Needles District of Canyonlands National Park 75 miles south of Moab, UT. I started February 20th and will be done June 10th.

What does that mean?

I get to wear a cool uniform, talk on a radio, drive government vehicles around, manage the campground, collect entrance & bookstore fees, answer questions, answer phones, go on hikes, create and present a campfire program, represent the U.S. Government, and live in one of the coolest places on earth with some of the neatest people.

No, it's not all sunshine and the romantic "National Park Ranger" ideal - sometimes I don't know the answer, sometimes the visitor center hours drag on, sometimes I feel smooshed under the bureaucratic policies, sometimes I miss my family and friends back home and even feel lonely out here in the desert...

...but then a little kid rushes up and asks me a question about coyotes, "Ranger, Ranger!" or I wake up before the sun and watch it paint an ever-changing liquid masterpiece across the sky, or I stand at the edge of a canyon mid-way through a run and listen to my own heart beat in the contented silence broken only by wind and birdsong, and I realize how lucky I am to live out here in the land of glowing rocks. I mean, I live in a National Park! When am I ever going to get this opportunity again? That's all the motivation I need to savor it.

Besides, it's not hard to love this place. Every hike is refreshing. It seems like there is no end to the trails or the things you can learn about this area- and no end to the questions, either. I spend a lot of free time/slow visitors center hours/project time just reading up about the natural & cultural history of the area, the whims and ways of the desert and life itself. It's like school, but so much better because I'm not doing it for a grade, and the parameters are so wide and the interest so keen!

I don't know if this internship will lead me to my life's mission or just help me become confident in my ability to manage a cash register, but either way I aim to help other people out, have grand adventures myself and learn as much as I can about this amazing place. :D

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Seasons and Sickness

We've all heard that there is a season for everything. I'm learning a new depth to that saying today.

I woke up this morning shivering with a headache. The weather outside was not much better: right now it's 11 degrees with a windchill well below zero. I didn't feel all that crummy, but a thermometer reading of 101.1 and a resting heart rate nearly double my average made me think twice and pick up a bowl of chicken soup instead of my running shoes.

Once I was nearly recovered from a bad cold, but I decided to go on a hike with some friends of mine who keep up a wicked pace. It was a fun hike, but I came home exhausted and relapsed even worse. I didn't want to repeat that lesson today, especially with an overnight trip to a yurt in the mountains planned for this Friday. So, I decided to listen to my body, be patient, and just take it easy.
It was hard because I wasn't feeling crummy enough to lie around doing nothing, but I wasn't feeling good enough to really do anything truly productive. I read a book, babysat, played with a cat, played the piano, ordered a sleeping bag, and dreamed of days when the weather and I will both be feeling better.

The sun was the most deceptive part of today. It looked cheerful enough, but a step outside ushered in a breathless reality. The light that appeared friendly and warm from inside seemed harsh and hollow as it cast itself down upon a scene of stark, brittle trees stripped by the bitter wind. I stepped back inside quickly and put on another layer of fleecy warmth.
I haven't yet forgotten the memory of rich golden summer sunlight. It helps in times like this.

But as I've said before, winter has its own beauty. You could look at it two ways: a time to retreat indoors from the restrictive misery and dream of warmer adventures, or a time to retreat indoors for preparation and rest. In the days of homesteads, winter blizzards could leave a family snowbound for weeks. They spent the days mending things, making things, reading and telling stories together. Just because the winter was a harsh and unproductive time on the farm didn't mean it wasn't necessary or even good in its own right.
Six days we labor, and we rest on the seventh. Rest is good for the body and rejuvenating for the soul, especially when you're sick or stressed or otherwise in need. We can't just go-go-go; we are humans, not machines.

This time in my life feels kind of like a restful time. I am basically worry-free: living with my parents again, doing household tasks and spending time with my family and friends here until my internship starts. Sometimes I feel unproductive and even lazy. For so long I've been looking toward the next big deadline and constantly working to earn scholarships, recognition, money, credits, good grades, etc, going from one thing to the next. It's nice now to not have any homework to do, any exams to stress me out or classes to attend. I think I will miss it eventually. Too much of anything, even rest, is a bad thing.

For now I'm trying out a different kind of productivity. Today was all about helping my body fight what's ailing it and keeping the little girls entertained so my mom can spend quality time at the office. As for me, I'm taking time to breathe, time to play with a baby, time to find out what I really want from life and to enjoy what's here,
in this season.

Even if it seems cold and miserable and boring, this rest will be gone before I know it, replaced by something new, the time quickening again and rushing onward.

Tomorrow I will feel better. Tonight, I'm going to bed early. Holly and I are having a camp out in the Great Room.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Same River Twice

Explore a new trail, or revisit an old one?

Quite a dilemma on any given weekend that is remotely sunny enough to head outside. However, one of the coolest (haha, pun intended) things about winter is that it changes familiar trails so you feel like you're exploring something new on a familiar backdrop. Winter paradox: frozen implies stuck, unchanging, but really the features of winter change often and dramatically. Think of an icicle, or eight inches of snow that fell overnight.
Big difference, right?
And it could be g o n e the next day.

Culvert Canyon is one of my favorite places to explore. We went twice this past week, and it changed so much just in a matter of days. We retraced familiar routes for a time and then stepped off into the unknown: we explored up a side canyon and found a cool trail that loops high above the wash all the way back to the start.
Another thing that adds variety: different people. If you've ever been a member of a group, you know that each group has a different dynamic, different personality mix, different goals and experience levels and abilities. Hiking with kids, you go slower and play more. Hiking with older adults, you hear all kinds of stories. Hiking with a few friends, you can cover a lot of ground and goof off. Hiking by yourself, you find solitude.

And even if you go on the same hike by yourself twice, it's different because you have changed since you last laced up your boots. That's another paradox: same person, different person. This idea's been around for a while:

"No man steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."

(Heraclitus, Greek philosopher 500 B.C.)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Bucket List

So here it is, my first-ever Bucket List. It's pretty long, I know- I want to have a lot of adventures, what can I say?

At first I was just thinking of far-out things I want to do in the future, then I remembered all the cool things I'd wanted to do- and did- in the past. It's sure been a trip down memory lane! I chose not to include most of the "given" things, like "graduate from high school" or "get my drivers' license." I chose instead to list more unusual, out-of-my-way/comfort zone things.

The interesting thing about a bucket list is that it takes into account mainly one-time events. There are lots of small, everyday things I want to accomplish too, like writing in my journal consistently, eating healthfully, or making a difference in someone's life, but those things are hard to quantify. They are definitely part of these bigger goals, though. New Years' Resolution? No, this is my Bucket List!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Now, back to wondering. I won't be wandering far for a while. I'm home. :)

Why is the cold so intimidating?

It's no fun to be stuck inside all day, but it takes such effort to bundle up and brace against the frost.

However, yesterday I went running. It was exhilarating! I've realized that that's one of the times when I feel most alive: charging up a hill, watching my breath fall beside me, feeling the ground below and the muscles pushing me higher and farther. Heating up, breathing in, breathing out, going on.

In the cold, you have to keep running if you want to stay warm. You can't stop. You can't slip. You've just gotta go----->

I've decided that I like winter after all. The still, the stark, the frozen. The sharp contrasts of red rock, white snow, clear sky. The soft landing and biting cold. Icicles reaching down imperceptibly, stiff branches clawing the sky. The flush of red nose and cheeks nearly buried in insulating layers, laughter ringing through the clear, frozen air.

Once they've shed their lush, bright summer garments and all is quiet, bare landscapes reveal their true colors. Pastel rocks glowing in the weak winter sunlight. Colors intensified by a backdrop of white and grey. A single snowflake on an old leaf.

People, too, show their true colors when all is cold and quiet.

Winter beauty is subtle, but real.

New Year, New Post

So here's one New Year's Resolution I should probably make: update my blog every once in a while! Yup, this is my first post in... well, too long. Lots has happened since then!

I won't fill you in; I'm starting fresh with 2011.

But first, a few pics from Christmas Break! (These are the later ones that didn't make it onto Facebook. I have dozens more if you're interested!)

Hanging out in the New House (SOOO many movies- what else can you do when it's cold & dark starting at 5:00 pm?)

Hiking/Scrambling Ice Box Canyon with Chris & Joseph. River Road to the Slickrock Bike Trail in just over an hour of near-vertical ascent. At points, we had to use ropes, NRS strap-belt harnesses, or climb on railroad spikes someone pounded into the rock. Awesome!

Christmas Eve Nazarene Feast ("hippie food" courtesy of yours truly ;)

Slush & Shanghai: a Hazlett Holiday Tradition

A fun visit by the 5 crazy Coleman cousins :)

Snow on the red rock (view from the Sand Hill where we went sledding & even got the Andrews' van stuck!)

Two cutest baby sisters. Check out Holly's dance moves! ;)

New Year's Eve party w/the Singles' Branch

I have rather goofy (but attractive!) best friends ;)

And a very cute baby sister who loves to play outside in the snow with me!

So basically, LIFE IS GOOD! And I love being home.

BYU Winter semester classes started today, but I am kind of not missing it at all. I needed a break from school and the Provo bubble, to be honest. Now I am excited to spend time with my family & friends at home for a few weeks before heading out into the wilderness to explore a potential career option and get some real-world experience.

Besides, see what I would have had to leave behind?